Choosing Vs. Chosen

This is one of if not the biggest lessons I’ve learned so far at 43 years old and entrepreneur-ing for the last two decades. Focus on choosing versus being chosen. This advice comes from my therapist who I have been working with for about 1 1/2 years, and I’m telling you, it applies everywhere in your life. Sure, the context when her and I were talking about this concept when it came up was about romantic relationships, but think about if we were ingrained with this knowledge as kids. We get to choose. Everything.

How people talk to us.

How people treat us.

Who gets to touch us and how.

Who we date, go into business with, or associate at any level.

Who we spend time with.

Who we are as a reflection of the people we spend the most time with.

When you stop waiting to be chosen by that person, that company, that client, that ANYTHING, life becomes more clear. You can do the choosing. You can create a business with the right messaging, the right branding, the right core values, and the right people will then in turn attract the right clients. The clients that you are excited to serve. The clients that aren’t entitled or demanding or inappropriate. The clients who align with you, support you, and “get” you.

Same goes for friends, lovers, and the like.

We get to choose. We don’t have to wait to be chosen, or try to be the best, prettiest, smartest, most worthy. We just get to be, and then we will get aligned with the right folks in both our personal and professional lives. It’s a beautiful place to be, never worrying ever again about being chosen. Because when you put the right offerings out into the world that let your brilliance shine, you get to choose who you work with, live amongst, and love.

Pretty simple mantra that has changed my life in only a few short months.

What does this shift in you to think about always doing the choosing versus hoping to be chosen?